Open Letter To My Children

Is the death of your loved ones your biggest fear?  It is for me.  The way I cope with it is through preemptive nostalgia, as in...

"One day this precious time will be gone and all I'll have is memories..."  (Cue the sound of a melancholy saxophone.)

Did you know that people who engage in nostalgia a few times a week are actually happier overall?

It seems that nostalgia has an evolutionary purpose and is a protective factor.

The other day I was dwelling on my children dying and then it hit me:

I am going to die too.

Sooner or later there will be a zombie apocalypse and I'll become one of the undead.

So I decided to write a letter for my children to read when I kick the bucket.

This isn't really an afterschooling activity, except that it might give my children greater resilience in the future, and support them in developing personal and social capability (Australian Curriculum).

My letter isn't going to win any literary awards, but it's from my heart.

By the way, I'm sure I've plagiarised bits and pieces from things I've read that have stuck in my memory.  If you come across any of the content elsewhere please let me know in the comments so I can give due credit.

Without further ado, drum roll please...

"Dearest S-Man and Dearest Roo,

If you're reading this, that means I'm dead.  Oops.  My bad!  I'm truly sorry about that.  I planned to live forever, but, as they say, life is what happens while you're making other plans.

I love you.  I love you forever.  I love you to infinity.  I love you to the ends of the universe, deeper than the ocean and brighter than the sun.

When I tell you I love you, I don't say it out of habit or to make conversation, I say it to remind you that you're the best things that ever happened to Dad and me.

I love you like a summer night, like a cosy winter campfire, like toasted marshmallows, like running through a sprinkler!

What advice can I share with you?  None, really.  My job is done.  You are already everything I could've hoped for and more.  You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest and most beautiful people I have ever known and even that is an understatement.

If I must come up with some advice, it would be this:  Slide down the banisters!  Blow bubbles and chase them!  Never miss the chance to bounce on a trampoline!  Walk barefoot, listen to the wind, drink in the moon!  

And it is absolutely okay to fail.  At anything and everything.  Big stuff and small stuff.  It's okay if the only thing you did today was breathe.  

You see, the love you have given me, THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.  You've made my heart sing with happiness, made my bleakest days shine, been the rainbow in my cloud and made my life complete.  Cheesy, but true.  

I couldn't be any happier, and it is thanks to the love you have given me.  May all those smiles you've bestowed on me be returned to you, and all the cheerful words you've said to me be spoken unto you!

Everyone has those days when you doubt yourself, and when you feel like everything you do sucks.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  Remember the mum in E.T. had an alien living in her house and she didn't even notice.  

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect.  So it is with humans.  You will be wounded, and you will wound.  Forgive yourself.  And please forgive me.  As Leonard Cohen says, "There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

Here's a little song for you:
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be."

Well, actually, even after I'm dead you'll still be my babies.

I'm preparing some little presents for your future birthdays, which I intend to put in a box in the roof.  The thing is, they're really just stuff.  But you:  You are my home, and my adventure, all at once.  To quote Walt Whitman:  "We were together.  I forget the rest."

In the end, I needed so little to be happy:  Sunlight on the mountain and your hands in mine.

Thank you.

Cuggles and kisses,

Mum.

PS - S-Man; guys reading are glorious!  Roo; you'll always be my god of laughter and dirty tricks!"

I added this pic from Winnie the Pooh:

What would you put in a letter to your children?  Please tell me in the comments.  And if you liked my letter, please share it using the buttons below!